Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
