You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm always down for nudity.
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