The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
