The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
