we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Found your dick twin last night
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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