a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
