Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
