Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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