just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
