If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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