sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
