so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
