It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
