i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
