i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I have aggressive nipples.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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