she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
