he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
