More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
