you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
