Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
