How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Screwed.edu
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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