We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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