If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
cat food counts as protein by the way
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
