Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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