Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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