The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
