The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
