This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize