some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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