Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
