Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
