Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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