don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
