She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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