return my video game
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Green mimosas i think yes
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
