so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
