i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
