she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
