Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
