can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
