Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.

(1-310): View more from California

ewwww. she might as well have a dick.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed

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(913): View more from Kansas

Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.

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(410): View more from Maryland

this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I gave up sex for lent.

(646): View more from New York

I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.

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(469): View more from Texas

Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take

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(207): View more from Maine

did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?

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(563): View more from Iowa

I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27

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