oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
