Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
