The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
