All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
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