I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
