I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize