I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
