Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
