I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
