these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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