i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
