Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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