did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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