whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
