He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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