Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize