Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize