oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
