Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
