So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
whose parrot is this?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
