You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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