The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
