Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
