Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Randomize