I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
