I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
