if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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