How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
