If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
