Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Can you bring me the toilet please
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
