david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
